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What is there to do in Orlando when you don't do amusement parks?

I don’t ride any rides. And I don’t want to sweat all day while walking on asphalt, get excited about those dinosaur size turkey legs only to be over the hype in two bites or shake my head at all the bad ass kids with no home training. So I made a list of things to do in Orlando. Did I accomplish them?  Nope. Teenagers don’t make the best travel partners but I won’t get into what didn’t happen and why. Let’s focus on all that did happen.

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1. Bob Marley at Universal City Walk. This is the part of Universal Studios that’s free. Free parking after 6 pm. Free entry. I like free. We went there for dinner. Menu was limited. Ordered the jerk chicken, rice and peas, plantains and vegetable medley. Ummmmm. The look of the place was definitely reminiscent of Bob Marley’s 9 Mile compound in Jamaica. However, the food came straight from Germany, the Netherlands or any country you can imagine that don’t use seasonings while cooking.  The chicken had last minute marinade on it. The rice was dry. The vegetables were swimming in oil. One positive. The plantains were good. Wouldn’t recommend.

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2. Voodoo Doughnuts. The line was long. The reviews were good. The pictures were exciting. I was even impressed with their vegan options. Had to get my hands on one or two. Sometimes I need two just to confirm or deny my verdict. Find the lie.  I ordered the Dirt and the 8 Mile. I ate the Dirt one first. It had icing on top with crumbled Oreos. A doughnut with no hole seems like it should have a filling. It didn’t. And it was pretty dry. Interesting. Then the 8 Mile was a cake doughnut with icing and M&Ms on top. Get it?  8 Mile. Eminem. Kinda clever. But what wasn’t clever was how dry them damn doughnuts were.  Those things need to be soaked in milk. And I don’t think hemp, coconut or almond milk would have done the trick. I threw them in the trash before I choked.

3. High Tide Harry’s was a second choice because Boston Lobster Feast didn’t open until 4 pm. I had plans for later on that evening that couldn’t be thwarted. The location is near the airport so it was a bit of a drive. Tried the crab dip, seafood gumbo, soft shell crab and crab legs. I must have forgotten that New Orleans was a couple weeks ago when I ordered that gumbo. All was decent. If you were hungry, you would not starve.  Would I drive 25 mins again for that grocery store quality seafood?  Nope.

4. Orlando Eye was the only activity we did besides the pool. I had more on the list like Clearwater or Cocoa  Beach, Wonder Works (upside down bldg) and paddle boating across Lake Eola on giant swans. Teenagers. Anyway, Orlando Eye is just like any other huge Ferris wheel in any other city. But Orlando is swamp land. So, it’s really not much to see. Even the tour guide on the key pad had four focal points. I may have spotted two out of the four. No you can’t see anything in Disney World from the top of the eye. I was just glad we did something that didn’t involve eating.

5. My highlight. Better Than Sex Desserts. I don’t know about it being better than sex. But, I can see how this can be satisfying and make you sleepy after. Mmmm hmmm. So, I found this place on a random google search. It was 25 mins in the other direction from the hotel. If you didn’t know it was there you would miss it. The sign above the restaurant is inconspicuous. The door has a small window with a curtain over it so it looks more like a residence than a restaurant. You have to make a reservation. There is no waiting area. And they only serve desserts and specialty cocktails. No appetizers. No regular top shelf bar options. It’s laser focused. You walk in and it gives you ambiance. The walls are red. The seats are black. The chandeliers are placed in a well thought out pattern. The tables seat no more than four people and have a candle on each. There are curtains in between each party so it’s semi private. The noise level is not a whisper so you can have conversation.  You have a server but the menu is on an iPad. And it’s super dark so my pics came out horrible (peep the stock pics I posted). All the menu items have sexually driven names such as Threesome, Between My Red Velvet Sheets Cheesecake and The Morning After. I ordered The Double Stuffed, which was an Oreo bread pudding. My friend, Robert, ordered The Missionary Crisp, which was a buttery cake topped with apples and a graham cracker crumble. We both ordered the Slip Inside for our drinks.   The desserts were over the top excellent. Made in-house and came out warm. The presentation was detailed. My tastebuds thanked me. The drink could tone it down a bit on the sweetness.  Would I go back?  Why yes. Yes I would. Highly recommend.  

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Image by Kyriacos Georgiou
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